trash by taylor

dreams

 

I was absolutely CRAZY about dream analysis as a kid. There was a period of time where I wouldn’t start my day until I looked up key terms about my dreams on the internet; I HAD to know what it meant if I was having a baby on a baseball field! I have always been interested in finding hidden meaning in absolutely everything, which is exactly why I am writing this post about the dream I just woke up from.

I’ve generally never had trouble remembering my dreams. I often write them down if my journal is in reach, or I text someone as quickly as I can if I dream about them. I dream in color, and I remember the last time I had a dream in black and white was in the sixth grade. I still have the dream analysis book from middle school that told me it was rare to dream in color. Ever since then, I’ve tried to keep a better grip on my mind.

My dream this morning consisted of two parts. The first, I was in a cool media store with my best friend, who was playing an old video game while wrapped in a blanket; I don’t think I have ever seen him play a video game in the four years I’ve known him. I have dreams where I am digging through a vintage thrift store quite often, and I’m always looking for Spice Girls memorabilia because I’ll always hang on to a memory of being in Target circa 1997 and beginning my collection for the first time.

The next part of the dream is why I think it’s worthy of analysis, and relevant to my current situation, I guess. I was dancing around in my grandparents’ backyard, and it was as if I was watching myself do it. I was completely carefree (HA.) and threw myself on the ground after I got too tired of dancing. I made note of the sticks that were caught in my hair but decided to let them stay- something I wouldn’t do in real life! The next thing I knew, several people began walking out of my grandparents’ house, dressed in extremely fancy attire, and it quickly hit me I was supposed to be at A THING. I was supposed to be in my Sunday best DOING SOMETHING.

I then rushed up to a really fancy lady and started apologizing profusely for the sticks in my hair and dirt on my face. She told me it was okay, but sort of looked twice at me, wondering HOW I could have possibly forgotten the fancy event. I think my Granny sort of gave me a “you’re doing this AGAIN?” type of look. Apparently dream Taylor is fond of getting dirty and missing commitments.

I woke up with a ton of questions. I’m going through what I would call a “post grad limbo period” where I absolutely do not have an answer for the “what’s next” question so please don’t bother asking. Keeping this in mind, I’m wondering if I’m extremely worried about missing opportunities because I’m not sure what is coming next. Is it more comfortable to fall and get my face dirty than to spend a lot of time having my hair done so I can go to events, as if they would bring some sort of importance to my life, or speak to some hidden desire for status. It’s definitely embarrassing sometimes to feel like I am the only one who is confused during this limbo period.

I also saw a cat in the window. I also think too much about everything, and perhaps my desire to analyze my dreams from a young age is a reason why I think too much about everything. Who knows? Dreams are weird. Hopefully my teeth won’t REALLY fall out.

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